Things that pisses me off.........(part 1)

Today morning I saw the newspaper and the headlines read " Diplomatic twist to slur on Shilpa". It said both the relations between the two governments could be severely affected.What the hell is going on here?? It was a tv show for crying out loud!!! Why didn't the government intervene when R Madhavan was killed due to the use of defect parts in RANG DE BASANTI!!! This made me think(finally!!!)... Usually I am pissed off with so many things, not many people knw that... So I thought I could make a list of things that pisses me off... So here goes

1) Mobile phones : Shocking!!!!These things are so getting f^%$in ridiculous and annoying. Every person I see has a mobile with him/her. Not that there's anything wrong with that though, but the problem is that these guys are not really used to these instruments that they forget the basic mobile manners. I see people riding a motorcycle and also on the phone. This is insane. Both the activities that they are doing definitely do not have the same levels of urgency.. Either pick up the call later or finish the call and then carry on with the journey.Also I am pissed off with the goofballs who forget to set the fone to vibrate in a cinema hall. A crucial scene would be keeping the audiences to the edge of their seats and the goofball's fone rings and he answers it as well!!! Sick of these people...Also the addons(camera,radio,tv,email, blah...blah...) to these fones are increasing in such great speed that o

2) Chinki females: Nooo, I am not getting racist or anything here.. There is a reason why I am pissed off with all these chinky females(question: who are they? where are they from? what the hell are they speaking?). I am riding on my bike,see, and I see this real gorgeous female on a bike/moped/walking whatever, and I race on my bike to have a look at the .............. face of the female and it turns out to be a chinki... So pissed off with them... Why the hell do they have to look so freakin gorgeous from the behind??.. Even if(by god's grace) they are good looking, they are already with a chinki dude whose pants look as though they are going to drop off any moment...

3) Credit Card companies: These guys are the limit... They have this incredible knack of always irritating you at the wrong times.... When you are in a meeting.... When you are eating... Some of them call you up well into the night..I have a solution to all of them... Revive Hitler from the dead and tell him that all these tele-marketers are Jews.... Bam.... All of them together in a gas chamber.....While that is being done, tell him that all the hippies in Goa are also jewish... Two birds in one stone...

4) Hippies in Goa: These fair skinned, pot smoking, gang banging hippies are really getting me more and more pissed off.... Goa is freakin filled with them....I, an Indian, was a minority there.. Are they actually doing anything for either themselves or Goa.... NO.... All they do is smoke pot and lie on the freakin beaches... I was almost happy for a second when I heard that the terrorists were going to bomb Goa!!!!!

5) Aishwarya Rai : Read previous post...

6) Commies in West Bengal : Enough already... Go find something better to do with you pathetic lives..... Almost every day is now becoming a bandh in Calcutta and Buddda aka CM is wondering why more IT companies are not coming there... Pathetic...

7) People who tell that the whole " Noida killings - Moninder Singh" is really blown out of proportion: Blown out of proportion... What the hell is wrong with you jackasses?? He has killed and then screwed around 20-25 people and they are mostly kids!!!!! I say blow that maniac's head off.... I say that all this stupid hanging or a firing squad wont cut it for this guy....I can suggest a way this guy can be executed(If the govt. is listening).... Firstly this guy should not be given a fair trial as only human beings deserve a fair trial....Execute him... Firsty cut off his p@#$S and feed it to him... After that, take a really hot iron rod and stick it straight up his ass..... And then, since he likes kids so much, get Micheal Jackson(similar tastes!!)to beat him with a baseball bat for about a day.... Micheal, in turn, has a clear history as all the previous charges against him will be dropped.... Then get him to drive a car and park it before Siddhu parks it... Siddhu would actually beat him, but not to death(he's not that dumb).... Then announce public ally that he is dating Aish so that Salman would go to him and beat him up... Finally get that cute little girl who played a blind girl in BLACK( no, not Rani) to shoot him repeatedly with a gun.... That would cut it....SOB

This is not complete... I am pissed off with a lot of other things.... Will continue in my forthcoming posts...

Ash set to marry AB's baby!!!

For all my American readers(if there are any), noo, this is not a child marriage..AB's baby is Abhishek is AB's really big, man-child and in India itz legal for a hooker to marry a man-child under Hindu marrige act, section 256 clause 25 amendment 2554854(for all those fags who want to look up, visit

No but seriously... I am soo happy for them.. As for Ash, her legs is finally closed for business(Telgi.. Look for someone else!!)..As for Abhishek, dude enjoy it while it lasts... I along with about 100 million guys know that... As for AB, dude there is no law curtailing incest in India yet.. Enjoy Ash till she's open for business again...

Some people might wonder why I am so pissed of with Ash and anything/everything around her. I'll tell you why.. I knw that shez the hotter than my maid but really looks are not the only things that matter... She needs to either choose kwality(Mmmmm, Icecream) film or a Kwality role. Wearing a bikini in movie doesnt make that a kwality role... Hell Shakti kapoor wore a bikini in a movie... Shakeela doesnt wear anything in a movie... doesnt mean shez a kwality actress(whoa! what the hell is wrong with me... Shez the best we got)... Ash has to choose better roles.. She played herself in Dhoom 2(an urban hooker!!).... All her english movies have flopped.. She played a pivotal role in the career downslide and weight loss!!! of Gurindher Chadda (remember Bend it like "whoever is hot right now")...

Her latest movie was Guru( A movie based on Dawood Ibrahim?? no wait Veerappan??no wait Dhirubhai... Hell I can't find any differences among them...) For all those who havent seen the movie yet, the following points may help you out... For all those who have already(other than in tents or pirated CD's)....BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH......BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Disclaimer:I have absolutely no intent of screwing all the pirated CD/DVD guys(u rock!!!) of their business by tell the truth...So I am also including some lies too...)

1) Truth: Aishwarya has delivered the performance of her lifetime
False : A Mannequin(sex-toy) could have played her part and would have won her a filmfare

2) Truth: Vidya Balan has done a awesome performance as a cripple
False : One of the highlights of the film is her death

3) Truth : Madhavan @ Vidya's kiss is one of the best in the recent times
False : Hell ya

4) Truth : Mukesh Ambani was pissed off that he was shown in poor light in the movie
False : I thought the girl who portayed Mukesh was really hot and he has no reason complain to

5) Truth : Dhirubhai Ambani is one of the greatest businessmen India has ever produced
False : Mohinder Singh was one of the truest and most noblest people that ever lived, ever.

6) Truth : Abhishek and Mithun have delivered great performances
False : Yeah!!!

7) Truth : All the songs in the movies were great..
False : 1) What the hell was bappi lahiri thinking?
2) Did Mani rathnam think that just by having good songs at totally irrelevant times would actually prove he is a good director
3) Mallika Sherawat proves that Man-made things are better than god's creation

8) Truth : The movie is worth every paisa the I spent
False : Deepak, I want my movie back!!!!!!!!

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the highest and 10 the least, I give this movie 65536.