Ash set to marry AB's baby!!!

For all my American readers(if there are any), noo, this is not a child marriage..AB's baby is Abhishek is AB's really big, man-child and in India itz legal for a hooker to marry a man-child under Hindu marrige act, section 256 clause 25 amendment 2554854(for all those fags who want to look up, visit

No but seriously... I am soo happy for them.. As for Ash, her legs is finally closed for business(Telgi.. Look for someone else!!)..As for Abhishek, dude enjoy it while it lasts... I along with about 100 million guys know that... As for AB, dude there is no law curtailing incest in India yet.. Enjoy Ash till she's open for business again...

Some people might wonder why I am so pissed of with Ash and anything/everything around her. I'll tell you why.. I knw that shez the hotter than my maid but really looks are not the only things that matter... She needs to either choose kwality(Mmmmm, Icecream) film or a Kwality role. Wearing a bikini in movie doesnt make that a kwality role... Hell Shakti kapoor wore a bikini in a movie... Shakeela doesnt wear anything in a movie... doesnt mean shez a kwality actress(whoa! what the hell is wrong with me... Shez the best we got)... Ash has to choose better roles.. She played herself in Dhoom 2(an urban hooker!!).... All her english movies have flopped.. She played a pivotal role in the career downslide and weight loss!!! of Gurindher Chadda (remember Bend it like "whoever is hot right now")...

Her latest movie was Guru( A movie based on Dawood Ibrahim?? no wait Veerappan??no wait Dhirubhai... Hell I can't find any differences among them...) For all those who havent seen the movie yet, the following points may help you out... For all those who have already(other than in tents or pirated CD's)....BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH......BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Disclaimer:I have absolutely no intent of screwing all the pirated CD/DVD guys(u rock!!!) of their business by tell the truth...So I am also including some lies too...)

1) Truth: Aishwarya has delivered the performance of her lifetime
False : A Mannequin(sex-toy) could have played her part and would have won her a filmfare

2) Truth: Vidya Balan has done a awesome performance as a cripple
False : One of the highlights of the film is her death

3) Truth : Madhavan @ Vidya's kiss is one of the best in the recent times
False : Hell ya

4) Truth : Mukesh Ambani was pissed off that he was shown in poor light in the movie
False : I thought the girl who portayed Mukesh was really hot and he has no reason complain to

5) Truth : Dhirubhai Ambani is one of the greatest businessmen India has ever produced
False : Mohinder Singh was one of the truest and most noblest people that ever lived, ever.

6) Truth : Abhishek and Mithun have delivered great performances
False : Yeah!!!

7) Truth : All the songs in the movies were great..
False : 1) What the hell was bappi lahiri thinking?
2) Did Mani rathnam think that just by having good songs at totally irrelevant times would actually prove he is a good director
3) Mallika Sherawat proves that Man-made things are better than god's creation

8) Truth : The movie is worth every paisa the I spent
False : Deepak, I want my movie back!!!!!!!!

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the highest and 10 the least, I give this movie 65536.


  1. First of all, the present generation Yanks cant read or write for nuts..So, for them big man-child are the toughest words they would ever encounter in a SpellingBee.

    About Ash's legs and Telgi, I refrain from commenting. Shetty would throw more light..

    I dont know about the Kwality. Is it some Konga term? And i'm not so sure about Ash's south indian counterpart whose clothes are tailored in the Kalasipalya slum if only she plans to wear any...Ask Sharath for more details... I'm just guessing..He is the expert..Oh yes, and he is mul..

    Who, pray, is Gurindher Chaddi? If it is that same ugly fat woman who made a movie out of that Jane Austen book (Pride and whatever).. Good for her, if she tones down her weight. Else, the fat in her would have sufficed for the Somalians for generations.

    And now for my favourite part.

    Truth:Ash is great
    False(Lies would have been more apt): Ash is a freaking second grade actress. Her south indian counterpart, Hari mentioned can act better and is apparently more sought after.Ash sucks big time.

    Truth:Vidya Balan is Mul
    False: She is the only other useful Mul in the country.(the first being Sreesanth).

    Truth:Madhavan is gay
    False: I dont dispute the truth

    Truth: Mukesh Ambani was pissed off
    False: His wife was a one time hottie..

    Truth: Moninder Singh is the most honest and decent human being to set foot on mother earth
    False: If the above mentioned is true, I'm a little girl.

    Truth: Abhishek Bacchan is papa's boy
    False: Heck, he's given a stellar performance in GURU. The only positive thing about the whole god*amn movie.

    Truth: Mallika Sherawat is a turn off.
    False: Pamela Anderson has serious competition

  2. HillaryUS.. Great post dude..

    but I dont know why you are so much against aish, just because she (being a our karnataka's very own bunt girl) is the Gateway of India in Bombay, rather than GateWay of Bangalore. She definitely was the Gateway of belgaum when she slept with Telgi..

    Btw, i heard Telgi is heartbroken..

    And AB and his Baby, Guys, meet Richard Gere once you get AIDS too.. Maybe he will help.. I wonder who will get it first.. hmmm...

  3. What the hell are you talking about..

    You asking SmallB to enjoy till it lasts.. You crazy crack*** cracka...

    Look at what she did to Salman. He still looks like he needs a bottle or a brea*t to hang on to (hurricane saved him though). Think about what happened to Vivek Oberoi - PETA was more concerned with the treatment meted out to him on the sets of Kaal than the illtreated tigers.

    And then comes SmallB in Ash's life.

    Hey I am no judge of good character - I make lots of friends, but Ash is real first class item - if you ask me. She is what she is - she turns guys into ash. So smallB now, who's next is the big question???

    BTW Belgium weather right now rocks, thanks to me.. I believe te country skipped a winter this year - never knew I am that HOT :)


  4. @bhargav: treadstone??? what the F#%k were you thinking?? Dude, kunta being a tamilian really takes offense to using the k-word(konga).....Nice job!!!!!
    Truth: Nice comment
    False : Copymaster Shammy

    @sriram aka kunta:Gateway of India!!! Bbwwaaaahhhhhhaaaaaa... Nice...Dude but shez not a kannadiga... Shes was in mumbai all her life.. Hell she hasnt even done a kannada movie.. She cant speak kannada for nuts...

    @shiva : Dude... You were so repelling that the winter ran away the moment you lunded in Belgium..Hot... Cmon..And dude when u say smallB, i really hope u are just talking about his name ;-).. btw "she turns guys into ash"... Now i know why shez called ash.. Kewl...

  5. hehehe ... sooper maga

    Every word of yours is true including "false" !