Bengalooored!!!!!

It's official. Bangalore is now Bengalooru or is it Bengaluru!!! I know that people had a lot of issues with the renaming of the city, but will somebody please tell me the new spelling of Bangalore. Is it
a) Bengaloooru
b) Bengaluru
c) Bang Bang Bangalore(ok ok... I know the last one is not supposed to be in the list, but it just sounded cool).
Changing a name is no ordinary thing to our politicians, Nooooo. On Nov 1st, a huge function was organised in the Chinnaswamy Stadium celebrating the 50 years of the formation of Karnataka(Question : What is the Kannada version of Karnataka?? Please submit your entries as a comment to my blog as soon as possible. The first prize is a shiny brand new 5 rupee coin.Also early birds get the worm.. Real worms!!)The CM officially changed the name of Bengalooooru and 9 other cities(Cities, if you can call them that!!) and he thus spake "During this golden jubilee year, the Karnataka government will fulfill the wishes of Kannada people by changing the names of key cities to its Kannada form" Please note, wishes of Kannada people.Bingo!!!! Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!! And the winner is...... CM HDK. Man our CM is good. He can read the minds of all the Kannada people. How did he know this man. Amazing. All the 'Kannada people' would have been like "Ever since I was a kid I had a dream. A wish. A hope. A wish not that I would become rich and/or famous and/or marry someone who's hot or get into a threesome with hot japanese twins(hold on!!! thatz my wish :-) oops!! sorry) or whatever, but wish that the name Bangalore should be changed to Bengalooru. C'mon. Really. I mean how weird would that be. Imagine some bubba(read : stupid/pyaade) actually pulling off this kinda shit. It would be as weird as Hrithik actually acting or Himesh singing from his mouth or whatever.

Herez a really weird scenario. Our 'main man' Bubba is walking down the street in Choolnagar and comes across an envelope that says " FREE PORN!!!!" across it in bold letters. Bubba, the horny toad that he is, immediately rushes to open it up and POOF!!! a genie comes out of the envelope.

Genie : Who the f^#%k was that?? Who the hell wakes me up!!! #$%@#&@#(*)@#.....
Bubba : Oh!! Sorry... Sorry... I thought this envelope contained some kinda free porn... I'm soo sorry.. Who are you by the way?
Genie : Who am I?? I am "The Genie"... Jeez.. Haven't you seen the cartoon "alladin and his magic lamp".. I am the freakin genie from that!!!
Bubba : Buuuttt... Buuutttt.. Why are you here?? Why aren't you with Alladin?? Why are you in a lamp??
Genie : Ya.. Alladin... One day his he wasn't home, you know, and his wife was all alone, you know.... Gigadigigadigigadigo....
Bubba : ok ok.... but what about the lamp
Genie : Cost cutting dude... Lamps are becoming very expensive nowadays and we have to resort to cheap tactics like this!!! Anyways.. You know the drill... Ask for a wish and I will grant it
Bubba : I thought it was three wishes..
Genie : I already told you... Cost cutting... What are you??? Bubba?
Bubba : Ya
Genie : Oh! Sorry about that.... I can change that if you want ;-)
Bubba : No, Ever since I was a kid, I had a wish, a dream.. That the name Bangalore be changed.. Be changed to its kannada name.. Bengalooru
Genie : What the ooru!!!! You have got to be kiddin me!!! In all the years of a genie, I have come across some really weird wishes, you know, Telgi said he wanted a top heroine for a night!!!(5 crores later it happened), Hitler said I need a moustache to assert my power(Hehe, He didn't know that I played a prank on him), Micheal Jackson said he wanted to be white and loved by all the kids!!! and so on... But this is extreme... Too much... Screw it!!! I Quit... No more genie business for me
Bubba : But what about my wish
Genie : Knock Knock
Bubba : Huh!!
Genie : I said, Knock Knock
Bubba : oh!! Whoz there
Genie : Go F#$K yourself

You know what I mean. Anybody would be petrified with such silly wishes. Wish!! Who was he kiddin!!!! Bengalooooooru!!! I'll tell you what. This city doesnt really need a new name. As the Bard of Avon aka Bill Shakespeare once said " Whatz in a Name ", but also mind you, this is the same sadistic ,gay ba%@$#d who a) used only men in all of his plays and b) killed of all his characters in the end. You really don't take things said by this guy seriously. No but, Bengaloooooooru has lots of the other issues towards which the government has turned a blind eye. Bad roads, power shortages, hopeless transportation services, really rude autorickshaw drivers( they are almost as bad as the Chennai ones!!!) , hopeless water supply, bad looking girls etc etc. The condition of our road is so bad, its now famous. The Bengalooooooooru potholes have a website for themselves!!! (http://www.bangalorepothole.com). I mean c'mon, the only thing keeping our city alive is the IT industry and even that, we are losing it to Delhi area. Instead of concentrating on these issues, the government thinks that renaming a city will turn around its fortunes. If thatz the case, then our 'main man' bubba will change his name everyday!!!! A lot of money has been unnecessarily spent on this renaming which could have been used more effectively. Thatz not even the best part. Everything changes because of this. Imagine walking into Bengalooru Central(The crappy shopping mall), or Bengaloooru International Airport( The foreigners will be like, shit, we got into some weird village man.. Lets get outta here!!!!) or the Bengalooru Club(This already weird place gets weirder!!!). And you know whatz the best part?? The renaming will not happen until next year. Next year!!! You know how long that is??? By then Aish would have slept with a dozen guys, Britney would have given birth to half a dozen babies and Angelina Jolie would have adopted them all!!!! Real Issues please

Finally, at the request of a dear friend of mine, I have decided to include disclaimers. I hope this explains everything.

DISCLAIMER:

@Hrithik : I will not apologize for my comments on you in any of my past or present(future even!!)blogs... You are a lousy actor, you always were a daddy's boy and without you dad, your nothing!!!!

@CM HDK : Being the son of the lousiest & laziest politician ever!!! All of this is expected from you. Keep up the good work and the next time you wouldn't even be Elected to the parliment, heck, not even in your own street!!!! And dude, your son is a nice role model to all the kids.... Pot smoking, Crunked Hippie!!!!

@ Himesh : Dude, two words, "You Suck!!!!"

@ Bill Shakespeare : I payed 250 bucks for the tickets of that lousy movie Omkara!!!! This isn't over yet!!!!

@ Aishwarya Rai : Move over Grandma, Hurricane Katrina coming through!!!!

@ Japanese twins : Call me

@ Bubba : HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

@ Gays : If this includes the lesbians too, then I have absolutely nothing about them