Hippies are Dummies!!!!!

Oxford Dictionary defines a hippie as follows : A Hippie is a pot-smoking, nature loving, peace craving, vegetarian, HIV-spreading, Space -wasting, classic rock listening, dumb, idiotic, impractical, dumb morons.

Man I hate hippies... I get so pissed off with them... Many times I wonder what purpose they would serve in the real world... Here are a list of things that I thought could be done with the hippies:

1. Parking your car on them.
2. Sending them to any war so they get killed instead of real people.
3. Medical testing (they're stupid like animals; just knock them out and give them a shot.. they won't know what happened)
4. Using them for ammo. We should pack them into missiles and launch them over towards Pakistan. Their smell is potent enough to make any enemy surrender.
5. Target practice
6. Fertilizers(Hippies always say that they are in touch with the nature)
7. Hippies make great janitors in prison (after all, they have the smell down).
8. Decorations. Add colour to your festival celebrations with a few hippies impaled on your walls (Dracula style).
9. Hippies make great scapegoats. Bad day at work? Famine? Plague? Cancer? Blame it on hippies.(This is usually what I do)
10. Hippies are always good for kicking and would act as a great football.
11. Hippies are fun to tease (good for laughs when you're bored)
12. Raw sewage storage (Hippies will eat anything)
13. Hippies are flammable and make for great campfire fuel.
14. Hippies will do free work to clean up the world (those suckers love earth).
15. Hippies are great for mixing with cement and throwing off bridges (just for fun).
16. Hippies are perfect for running over (always sleeping on park benches and sidewalks)
17. Hippies can be used as flotation devices i.e. they can be kept under your seats in an airplane and can be used in the case of emergencies(Provided u can stand the stink)
18. Hippies can also be used as dry logs in campfires(They love the nature)
19. Hippies can be used as a mode of transport during bandh times
20. Hippies can be used as dead bodies in the movies( Never get a hippie to act)
21. Hippies can be used as a vacuum cleaner (Beware... They suck really well!!!)
22. Hippies can be used as road blocks
23. Hippies can be used to detect & test new strains of HIV
24. Hippies lungs can be used as ashtrays
25. Hippies can be used as ploughs in the fields
26. Hippie can be used as cleaning tools by proctologists(anal doctors)
27. Hippies can be used as urinals .In the case of emergencies, it can be used for no 2 also
28. Hippies can be used for the measurement of the intensity of natural disasters in hippie scale(This is done by sending the hippies to the eye iof the storm and then counting the casualties)
29. Hippies can be used to check the integrity of weak structures

This is just some of the things that the hippies can do other than.....(what the hell do they really do???)

If you think you know some other useful things that the hippies can do, then please commente.

P.S. I would like to thank lead hippie, Shiv Sahgal, for providing me an insight in the crappy world of hippies


  1. Good stuff dude..I want more far fetched ones though, like ...Hippies can be used as a temperature gauge on exploratory missiles to the sun.
    The lead hippie feals the pain of his fellowmen.. ;)

    (P.S - Fellow hippies, visit my web page (www.HippiesAgainstHari.com)to find help on abduction techniques, real time info on Hari's whereabouts, directions to his house, etc.)

  2. Mebbe...You could try some of the stuff you mentioned on this guy who introduced you to world of hippies.. Let us look at some of the cause/effect scenarios caused by hippies

    Effect: Sep 9/11
    Cause: Hippie (just like Borat Sigidev mentions)

    Effect: Bhopal Gas Tragedy
    Cause: Hippie(I dont see any reason)

    Effect: Hindenberg disaster
    Cause: Hippie (again..No reason)

    Effect: Timepass in F.R.I.E.N.D.S
    Cause: Lisa Kudrow.. One timepass hippie

    Effect: Kunta's broken leg and hence his mental derangement
    Cause: Hippie Land

    Effect: Bubba's MBA
    Cause: Bubba

    Effect: You changing your preferences
    Cause: David (Hehe..I loved writing this one).